Where it's at: Not North-central Florida

If you're thinking about making a journey to some exotic, beautiful, serene, exciting, magical, or otherwise superlative location, I would recommend not making north-central Florida your stop. Sure, we've got trees. And warm weather in the winter. And sometimes we even have "cultural attractions" if you want to go all footloose and fancy on your definitions of "cultural" and "attractions." But when you get right down to it, this place is boring. If you stop everything and listen closely, sometimes you can even hear yourself age.

I am sooo looking forward to Cambridge. I want my 24 hour libraries. My 24 hour friends. My 24 hour CVS (in walking distance). I also want previously expensive, now heavily discounted clothes (thank you, post-Christmas sales), queer coffee shops, a city that's 90% democrat, and those gorgeous baristas at the Starbucks in the garage (you know the ones I'm talking about...I'll have a grande, non-fat, no-whip, cup of you, hold the clothes).

So step aside FLA, Cambridge, here I come. If any of y'all are in town, give me a ring. I'm getting in tomorrow.