Mather T-shirts

For freshman day t-shirts, my house decided it would be clever to place a phallic icon of the tower/lowrise (shaped as a cock and balls, respectively) on our house t-shirt. The caption reads (prepare yourself, this is so witty that you'll be taken so far aback that you'll end up right where you started off and you won't even know that you were taken aback in the first place. You probably won't even know that you thought it was witty. That's what happened to me):

"Nice Unit"

Now, don't get me wrong. I am a very sex-positive person. I think sex is great and not at all shameful. Moreover, I am a huge supporter of the phallus. I love the phallus. I spend a great deal of time on-line looking at depictions of the phalluses of well-endowed, often glistening models and "amateurs." I am not phallophobic. Many of my best friends are phalluses (oh wait...).

That said, I am not someone who would wear this shirt (mostly because the narrative behind the phallus on the shirt is one of hyper-masculinity and phallocentrism rather than sex-positivism. Also, the complete lack of wit).

In fact, I'm actually pretty peeved that this is our house shirt. It seems entirely self-defeating to have a shirt whose sole purpose is to create house spirit and unity be something that the majority of people would never feel comfortable wearing.

Ok. I'm done ranting now. Sorry 'bout that, folks. I appear to have gotten a little carried away (by the phallic imagery on my house t-shirt).