This Was NOT Part of the Deal!

When I sold my soul to capitalism in return for the conveniences of an industrial society, I was under the impression that this was a year-round thing. Capitalism gets my soul 24/7/365, and yet here we are, it's the end of December and suddenly you can't get an espresso drink past 7pm? I want my soul back!

I think there needs to be a "60 Minutes" exposé on this totally sketchy practice of shutting down businesses (including places that provide essential emergency services, like Starbucks!) without warning just because of these so-called holidays like "Christmas" (you know that name just screams bogus) and "New Year's" (why are we celebrating? because time hasn't stopped? get over it, people).

I smell a conspiracy. It must be the zionist media attempting to destroy American productivity and kill off all the caffeine addicts whose only hope for survival is the powdery tea they serve at the Chinese restaurant...where at least someone had the good sense to recognize that the world has not, in fact, stopped just because Jesus's birthday bash happened to coincide with the end of the Gregorian calendar year.

If I sound bitter, it's because I am.

Happy New Year's :-{

Update: I just got some caffeine and have returned to the world of joy, laughter and freedom from pounding headaches. It's good to be back!

Oh my god...is that you?

It's been such a long time! How have you been? What are you up to these days?

Me?

Funny you should ask. I've been searching long and hard for ways to procrastinate on my thesis (ch. 1 deadline = Jan 2nd...cue ominous music).

And having read every article on nytimes.com--except, of course, for the ones in the sports section, which I am required by good taste, sexual orientation, and law (in 15 states) to forgo--having devoted myself lovingly to the creation of a new facebook.com group, having poured over ever piece of denim, knitwear and outerware on sale at every major on-line retailer, having memorized the selection of knitting patterns archived on knitty.com, having watched every available episode of "Desperate Housewives" on abc.com, having listened to the oral arguments for most of the recent Supreme court cases on the blog Oyez.org, and having checked my e-mail so many times that I think I might have single-handedly taken down a google server, I have no recourse for internet procrastination except blogging.

So here I am, on my hands and knees, supplicating to you, by now non-existent readers of this blog: "Readers, I have sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your blogger."*

Yes, I am the prodigal blogger. Though I know not if I shall successfully resume a consistent blogging regime, I do know that I cannot but fail if I do not try.

And so, in the spirit of procrastination...I'm back.



*Luke 15: 18-19