Back in Business

It's been a while since I've last posted. If you were my mom (which you can't be, because I would never give her the url to my blog), you would probably assume that I had died and go from there. But you're not my mom, so you probably weren't too worried. And if you were worried, that might actually be creepy...

At any rate, I've been busy doing things that involved structured hanging out with lots of friends in an environment that more or less precluded me from using the internet. It was the perfect combination of relaxing, rigorous, and cathartic to ensure that I'll start the semester off on the right foot - that is if I can manage to find a decent set of classes to shop. I don't think it should be too much of a problem, but then again, I wouldn't really know since I have spent almost no time looking through courses.

In fact, I think I'll go to it right now. Happy new semester!

Pissed Off!

And just when this blog was starting to get positive...

So I went with a group of friends to The Modern/Embassy for their gay night, and while I've never been a huge fan of clubbing, I thought maybe I'd give it a shot. The worst that could happen is that I'd end up dancing for a couples hours in a room with a bunch of bitchy skinny boys. The alternative is that I could wind up going home with one of those random bitchy skinny guys and having anonymous sex. Which, while not ideal, may indeed be preferable to not having sex at all. It depends largely on how bitchy and how skinny the boy is.

But after the 35 minute T ride, I got there, and they wouldn't let me in with my college ID. I sort of understand not accepting college IDs for people who claim to be 21 or above - I mean, whatever, they're easy to fake, yada yada yada. But If it says I'm 20, I look 20, and I'm with a bunch of my other friends who are 20 or above, it seems like a pretty reasonable thing to assume it's legit. What type of moron fakes an ID that says they're 20?

Nevertheless, I understand that the bouncer lady was just doing her job. Good for her. But she did not need to be bitchy about it. I am sorrrrry. I did not just spend half an hour in the T for your attitude, honey. And if your ugly ass is gonna tell me to go home, you better say it with a smile and some convincing sweetness to your voice.

Conclusion: I hate The Modern/Embassy, and I hope the bouncers there all gain 50 pounds and have a nasty, permanent reaction to the cheap silicone injections that you KNOW they need in their lips.

Freedom

I finished my last final, and for the first day in about a month, I actualy don't know what I'll be doing from the moment I wake up until the moment I (accidentally) fall asleep. We'll see how much the studying paid off soon - or more accurately, I'll see, because I sure as hell am not telling anyone else. It might not be terrible, but my grades are definitely not of the shout-it-from-the-rooftops variety.

I woke up early (after around 11 hours of sleep) and had a leisurely breakfast in the dining hall, which was so pleasant. Really, there's no better way to spend a morning than in Mather dining hall. The snow on the river banks makes it particularly picturesque, and they had frosted raisin scones this morning, which were delicious.

Right now I'm buying time while I digest before working out. I think I'll listen to NPR and knit for a while, and then I'll go to the yarn store, since one of my friends is coming back after a semester abroad, and I want to make her a welcome home scarf. Aside from that, I plan on spending some quality time with my course catalogue and Judith Butler's Undoing Gender.

Would I not make the best retired person EVER? I'm so good at this. I feel like I'm violating my telos by working. Aristotle, back me up here, hon.

I'm also trying to decide whether or not to visit my cousin in Bard and if so, for how long. It seems like taking a bus will be a pain in the tuchus, and I'd kind of like to drive, but renting a car is way too expensive if you're not 21. I really ought to call my cousin and see what she's doing, since this could very well be a moot point.

It is so wonderful to have time to worry about these things again! Intersession, how I love thee.

Has Lamont Gone Glam?

Two of the people in my immediate vicinity bear a remarkable resemblance to Donatella Versace and Nicole Richie respectively. They look oddly out of place in the library at 11pm.

I think this calls for a Red Bull. Or three.

(That's right, this post is entirely without purpose...or coherence... Although, come to think of it, purposefulness and coherence aren't exactly trademarks of mine.)

Metamorphosis

After a week of only studying for this stupid history exam, I have emerged from my cocoon of social thought in modern America, and have for the first time in a week, seen sunlight. Hooray.

Now only one more exam to go: Origins of Knowledge, which should be totally doable, even if it will require some hardcore studying from now until Tuesday.

In other news, I'm hoping to visit my cousin (who's queer :-)!!!!) in Bard, so I have to talk to her, slash look into bus fares, slash stop being so damn lazy. But that will be so much fun. Mostly because she's queer and my cousin and I haven't seen her in forever, but also because I'm sure she'll be fabulous (since she's my cousin, and she's queer).

On a (meta) side note: this is perhaps the first not-complainy post I have ever written. And I bet you thought I was just a whiny bitch. Soooo wrong. I'm only like 95% whiny bitch. The other 5% is pure sunshine (and caffeine).

On Drought and the Dating Pool at Harvard

I remember the good old days as a freshman. I would get so excited for my routine daily-to-semi-daily advanced search for "men" interested in "men" on the Facebook. Whenever someone new came out, it was like a victory for the team. The pink team.

In the beginning there were lots of victories for the pink team. Often they were small victories or obvious victories (some battles were over before they had begun), but they were victories nonetheless. And each and every one of them gave me joy.

Eventually I realized that this behavior had crossed the line from endearing, earnest desire, to pathetic desperation. So I stopped. And then came Sergio, so I didn't relapse. Otherwise, I would probably have relapsed. But I didn't.

And then we broke up. And here I am, back to the Facebook. Except now, when I do the Search, it no longer brings me joy. I see many men, but no prospects. The pool has run dry, and with it, my heart (ok, now that's a little over the top even for my taste, and most of those who know me know that I am fundamentally tasteless).

I can't date people who are on the boards of the organizations I do. I can't date freshmen. I can't date the people who have dated my close friends. I can't date the people who are in relationships. I can't date the people who wouldn't want to date me. And what's left? Zero. Nada. Nilch. Nothing. noting. doting. dating. mating. eating...lots of carbs.

Quick Note

The time that it says I post is wrong (this is necessary for my last post to make sense). So I offer a calibration: right now it is 2:53am on Wednesday the 18th.

It's my life; It's now or never

If I get one thing out of my education, it will be the art of procrastination and its correlate, getting shit done quickly (quality not guaranteed).

I don't want to disparage the value of procrastination and getting shit done quickly, because I mean, really, where would the world be without them? On the other hand, with three full days left until my killer exam, I should really try to spice it up a bit. With studying, perhaps. I have no excuses if I can't do well on this, so I really need to get my act together.

I think that means taking the excrutiating step of uninstalling my free civilization 4 demo. I tried using it as an incentive to work more efficiently, and that's effective - except for the fact that a single game takes 1.5-2hrs. Not the kind of breaks I can afford. I think I need a smaller reward, like five minutes of checking my e-mail, or something like that.

At any rate, these are painful lessons to have to be learning this late in exam period.

Another lesson: Mischa, don't fuck up your sleep schedule. You think it'd be simple, but nothing could be further from the truth. I have a meeting at 8am tomorrow (well, technically today), and I can try to wake up for it, but I think the more effective thing would be to use the time b/w now and then studying, and then do my best to stay awake until nightfall. Keeping me company on this journey will be my faithful Red Bull and non-drowsy cold medicine (shoutout to psuedoephedrine! Yeah!). The medicine is legit, too, since I have a sinus infection. I think that calls for a shoutout to sinus infections. Yeah!

The unfortunate consequence of staying up late is that you end up eating lots of late night snacks. I'm trying to figure out a way of studying that doesn't involve gaining a kazillion pounds (sounds like hyperbole, but in my case, just trust me). My strategy has been to drink a lot of water and only eat South Beach Diet Meal Replacement bars after dinner, unfortunately, one cannot expect to eat one's weight in SBDMRBs without putting on the pounds. They're amazing, but they're not miracle workers.

Ok, so it's a little hard to see the highlights in this lighting, but I did my best. Needless to say, I went a little conservative on the color choice. Think of it as the Great Leap Forward in baby steps

Musings

Musing 1:

Metaphors are like Florida beaches - mostly shallow, unappealing, and often used by stupid people (as well as Quebecois snowbirds).


Musing 2:
Destroyed jeans are awesome. They are like destroyed metaphors. This is like a destroyed metaphor.

10 Things I hate about you(, Harvard)

At the moment, I'm in a pissy mood. I can't really tell why, but I have a hunch it's:

10. The Cold
9. January
8. Reading and exam periods
7. I can't even get a decent seat in the library at 3am! Now, I'm nocturnal, so I have an excuse. As for the rest of you, I'm disgusted.
6. People who are always on top of their shit. You know who you are - the people who turn in their response paper 4 days early "because they have so much work."
5. People who chatter loudly in the dining halls at night regardless of all the other people studying in silence.
4. Reading - isn't there an easier way of learning? I bet if we put our minds together we could come up with a much better alternative.
3. Hot, smart people. You can't have it all; you just can't. May you meet misfortune in your futures.
2. People who sincerely don't care about their grades. Yes, you're fun to be around with and have in classes, but come on, folks. Where's the stress? Where's the bitchiness? Where do I find a future that doesn't require good grades? Show me...please.
1. Happy couples. I'll like you just fine when I'm in a relationship. But since I only broke up a month ago, I'm entitled to hate you for the moment. It's nothing personal.


Wow, now that I look at it, it appears that I primarily hate happiness and success in other people. Go figure. If you're a) unhappy, b) unsuccessful, or c) both (preferable) give me a call. We'll do lunch or something.

If you can't stand the heat

Get out of Lamont. I spent last night there, and thanks to the unseasonably warm weather, the rather seasonably huge crowds, and the open 24hrs/day thing, it felt like being nestled in the armpit of Harvard. It sort of smelled that way, too.

I didn't get much work done, since the heat made me incredibly sleepy. On the plus side, one of my FUPpies left a good luck note and a Red Bull on my carousel while I was conked out. So cute. You know what they say, "the best part of waking up, is Red Bull in Lamont."

In other news, I have been informed that there IS in fact a way to get around the block of temptation blocker. I imagine it will continue to do wonders to stymie my procrastination habits, but I still think that that news killed a little piece of my soul. And at this point, I'm not sure how much more my soul's got left to lose...

Almost there

I'm not quite at the "light at the end of the tunnel" stage yet. But I'm definitely in the part of the tunnel that a little less dark than the middle, and I'm heading in the right direction. (Translation: I have two tests both of which will require a lot of studying and one of which will be impossibly difficult no matter how hard I study and a 25 page paper left. Not bad.)


Other than that, no big news on the Mischa front. This whole all-nighter thing is wreaking havoc on my hygiene. My oil blotting sheets cringe in terror at my forehead. Oh, the sacrifices I make for my bangs...

Alas, poor internet, I knew it well.

I have looked into the cruel, cold heart of efficiency, and I think I'm desperate enough to take the dive. That's right, I downloaded "Temptation Blocker" and I will be unable to access the internet until I am done with this stupid take-home final. So goodbye network, my dear, dear friend.

Wish me luck. And if you see me wearing all black anytime soon, you'll know why: I'm mourning the untimely death of my procrastination :-(. Also, black is slimming and generally fashionable.

I am a boring person

So I finished writing my two essays (it's like an albatross has been lifted from my shoulders - mixed-metaphorically speaking), which is fabulous. Now I need to get back into the groove, which sucks because I haven't been in the groove for about two years now (may my GPA rest in peace).

Other than that, not much is going on. I passed out from exhaustion in the Mather dining hall the other day, which would have been embarrassing if I weren't too tired to care. Hmm...what else...

I feel like I should have something else to say - to give you even a slight justification to read my blog, but alas. Maybe you can say you read my blog out of pity or to make you feel good about yourself.

Now all I need is a justification for myself to write this...

My Reading Period Routine

In case you're wondering what it is that I've been up to (a likely scenario, perhaps, for those reading this blog), let me give you a run down of my past 3 days:

- "Brainstorm" for essay that I should have started writing a month ago (10 minutes)
- Apply passion fruit flavored Lip Butter (TM) liberally (5 minutes)
- Check e-mail and every other bookmarked web site in case anything changed from 20 minutes ago (30 minutes)
- Shamelessly stare at the hot guy sitting across from me in the library (5 minutes)
- Repeat

Am I not the paragon of excitement and efficiency? Now if you'll excuse me, I'd better get back to work.

Why Do CUE?

It's that time of year again when all the dining halls are filled with glossy table tents proclaiming the value of filling out our teacher evaluations on-line. But, now, Saturday morning at 7:34am, as I begin to conclude what may have been one of the least productive all-nighters ever, I would like to offer one more inspirational reason to "do CUE."


After spending hours trying to craft my feministy essay around the defiantly poorly worded question (and for those of you who haven't had the pleasure of reading much feminist theory, wording is EVERYTHING and a bag of chips to feminists), I decided that the only way to mitigate my own (deep, deep) misery was to drag someone down with me. Thinking about one's own misery is an excellent way to stay miserable, which is great if you're into the whole "wallowing" scene. But eventually I said to myself "M, shoot girl, you should be strategic about this." Naturally my glossy table tent showed me the path.

I took a welcome break from "writing" this tragic paper of mine in order to write a far more
tragic evaluation of the class. I like to think of it as falling into the genre of truth with a hint of bitterness. Sort of a la "tostitos hint of lime," minus the once you start, you can't stop thing. At any rate, thank you, CUE.

Reading Period Reflections

So with reading period and its many obligations I really ought to stop writing in this blog. I probably won't, but I might cut back on the frequency.

I spent the past few days stocking up on Red Bull, paying extended visits to Lamont (the library), and inefficiently working on my many papers. As captivating as it all sounds, it's really not that glorious.

I'll keep you posted if anything happens, but in the interim, I'll probably use reading period as a chance for reflections on other, more interesting parts of my life. But for now, this is all I got :-(.

PS. A picture of my new highlights will be up as soon as I get one.

The Great Leap Forward

You'll excuse my tasteless, poorly-analogized reference to Chinese history when you find out...drumroll please...that it's referring to the fact that I've finally made an appointment to get my hair highlighted (I'd add more exclamation points if it weren't so damned tasteless)! This may be a small step for my hair color, but it's a giant leap for me. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go back to my "studying."

Where it's at: Not North-central Florida

If you're thinking about making a journey to some exotic, beautiful, serene, exciting, magical, or otherwise superlative location, I would recommend not making north-central Florida your stop. Sure, we've got trees. And warm weather in the winter. And sometimes we even have "cultural attractions" if you want to go all footloose and fancy on your definitions of "cultural" and "attractions." But when you get right down to it, this place is boring. If you stop everything and listen closely, sometimes you can even hear yourself age.

I am sooo looking forward to Cambridge. I want my 24 hour libraries. My 24 hour friends. My 24 hour CVS (in walking distance). I also want previously expensive, now heavily discounted clothes (thank you, post-Christmas sales), queer coffee shops, a city that's 90% democrat, and those gorgeous baristas at the Starbucks in the garage (you know the ones I'm talking about...I'll have a grande, non-fat, no-whip, cup of you, hold the clothes).

So step aside FLA, Cambridge, here I come. If any of y'all are in town, give me a ring. I'm getting in tomorrow.

Why my mother is amazing

My mom and I were in the car on the way to the local yarn store in Tampa, and I decided it would be a shame to waste such a wonderful opportunity to blast my super gay music (since my step-father doesn't really appreciate it). We started out with a little Thelma Houston, Cindy Lauper, and Tiffany, but I started to go into Whitney withdrawal (she goes into crack withdrawal, I go into Whitney withdrawal - there's some sort of cosmic symmetry in the whole thing). I started with "I will always love you" from the bodyguard and my mother started crying. My mom cries to Whitney Houston. Do mothers come any better than that? No! I have the best mother in the world.
I love you mom (but I will never, ever give you the url to my blog).

From left to right, cousin Suzie, Nana (my grandmother), and Auntie Barbara. They are FABULOUS.

The New Thing

Sudoku is the newest craze to hit my family, and let me tell you, my family has been hit hard. It all started when we bought a couple of books for my Auntie Barbara (the fabulous one) and her family. In a fit of boredom and regret at our overgenerosity, we decided to appropriate one of the Sudoku books for ourselves.

Between then (a couple days ago) and now, the number of hours all of us have spent doing Sudoku is embarrassing. The last thing I need is another procrastination technique or way to distract myself when I should be paying attention. The only good thing to come out of this is that I am far better at Sudoku than the rest of my family (who happen to all be pitiful).

In other news, the Guess in Tampa had a 50% off already reduced prices sale. I purchased a sweatshirt and a pair of jeans, and I must say that I am very pleased. Thank you, Marciano, you know not how you bring me joy.